the more things change, the more they ... you know

My ex-boyfriend contacted me through Facebook.

Those of you paying attention will know how extremely ex he must be (approx. 25 years).

He wrote to 'ask forgiveness' for his 'ass-hole-ness'. He was an asshole, but we were young and I probably was too so I brushed it off.
'Nothing to forgive.'

He persisted.
'I need you to accept my apology.'
'I need to know you've forgiven me.'
'I want to make atonement.'
There was more.

Yawn.

And then:
'I was a self-centred asshole back then, only thinking of myself.'

Yeah, glad to see you've done some work on that ...

sunday

Could we have had a nicer weekend?

I don't think so.

saturday

a home-baked cinnabun & love cappuccino from my husband

a decorated present depicting the birthday boy as a dinosaur-slaying prince, the illustrator as a caged fair maiden and her little sister as a fearless dino-taunter

a gorgeous dinosaur cake

and very clever dino-terrariums 

All this in the barmiest balmiest weather for April. We were swimming at 6 pm.

sloppy jo

Yesterday I unexpectedly had to drive the girls to school (husband usually does it).

I put on some new, I think stylish, track pants, a long-sleeve tee. I washed and moisturised my face. I thought I combed my hair, and jumped into the car.

On the way there we realised Frieda hadn't completed her reading assignment for the day - she was beside herself and not satisfied with my writing a note to her teacher, wanted me to come and explain the situation in person.
Okay fine.

I unloaded Stella at Frieda's school and we went in search of Mrs van der Merwe, to discover all the teachers were in assembly.
So I hung out at the back for a while, chatting to other mums and catching up a bit, until bored of waiting I went to the achingly sweet school secretary, explained the situation, left the partially completed reading book and note with her.
In her office I bumped into some other parents, had a couple of other quick chats ...

Then on to Stella's school where, as soon as I walked in, her teacher and another mum said: 'Oh, still in your pyjamas are you?'
What? Do I look like I'm in my pyjamas??

'Kind of,' says the teacher, 'or maybe it's just the wild hair.'

Fuck.

you know I'm ready for a new job ...

... when I've cut 'n stuck me a brand new workbook.

There is no theme, just some random therapeutic cutting and sticking, but maybe the side-eyes are a warning to anyone planning on dicking me around on this one.

I ain't kidding. 

Ha ha ha ha thunk.

ye olde getaway

Our little trip away was not without mishap (there were some hard falls, some shitty experiences - literally), but the only real casualty was my camera - whaaaaa!

So out came the phone camera, plus filters.
It's not iPhone, it's not Instagram, but it's a pretty fair portrayal of the lovely place we stayed at, with lovely, lovely friends.

learning to fly

As I suspected, life since I got mobile again has been somewhat hectic ... after such a slow start to the year (a mid-life pause I'm appreciating more and more as it recedes, the benefits of that time and space becoming more evident as I reflect on it) 2014 seems destined to be crazy busy - all in a good, fun, productive way.

After my Saturday at the music festival (which followed a busy, busy week [which included a wild night out]), my Mum sent me a text saying 'Work hard, play hard' and yeah, that's definitely shaping up to be the theme for the year.

I've had moments in the last few years of child-rearing and house-keeping and part-time working when I've marveled that anyone manages to do all this while working full-time.
Where's the balance in that I've wondered, while often feeling so unbalanced myself.

But I've realised of late, that to achieve a semblance of balance one needs weights on either side of the scale. And the more equal the weight the more naturally one will find the equilibrium.

In the next few months I'll be employed by 4 different clients, I worked out that across these contracts I'll be needing to do 34 hours work a week.
I currently have 17 hours of childcare (school).
So as of next week I've employed an au pair (sounds posh hey?) for 3 afternoons a week. She'll fetch the girls from school, feed them, drive them to swimming, take them to the beach on nice days, read to them, play, hang out.
All this just until mid-June when the two big contracts end. We'll see what happens next.

I'm excited. I'm inspired and I'm hopeful. These are good feelings.

I think maybe that down-time in January and Feb was what I needed to re-calibrate myself. Reset to zero and then find the balance.
I feel like that is what I'm doing, for the first time in years.

But first: a week's holiday.

Tomorrow the girls and I set off for a few days out of Cape Town with friends. A road trip and a change of scenery.
A little bonding time before we find a new rhythm next term, another little re-calibration before we spread our wings.

laughing ladies

These pictures make me SO happy.

Two of my best friends, originally from totally different parts of my life, having an enormous, side-splitting, possibly panty-wetting, totally free and enviable laugh together.

We spent Saturday at an outdoor music festival, celebrating a 40th birthday, having a day out with no kids, being free 'n easy.
One friend did something funny, the other one caught her at it, and while they laughed and laughed I snapped away ... loving them both for their joy and uninhibited mirth.

To laugh is to live, I'm so grateful to be surrounded by people who remind me of that all the time.

the illustrated man

I sneaked a photo ...

See what I mean about him being a walking collage himself?

And look how neatly he works! Admittedly I think this was when we were packing up towards the end of class but still ... his work was pretty methodical and controlled throughout, and see how he's dabbing up excess glue with a blotter sheet?
Just across the table my workspace was a hot sticky mess half buried in a cloud of torn and furled paper.

It's not just because he's Brazilian, with a welcoming smile and impossible white teeth, not just because he's a practicing psychologist and a surfer.
It is mostly because he's also an established collage artist with exhibitions in Rio and Venice Beach, and a piece in a fancy gallery in Sydney, that when I bumped into him in the supermarket this afternoon it meant so much when he said, with that ridiculously cute smile, 'I really like your work, you have great style.'

Thank you interesting man I don't think I'll ever meet again, I needed that.

self like

I like this photo of myself.

Yeah, I'm a little red and blurry - it's a phone pic and it was mid-way through a particularly raucous girls night - but I rarely like photos of myself and this one works for me.

I'm wearing one of my favourite autumn/winter dresses (its first outing this season).
I'm drinking a strawberry frozen margarita.
I'm in the company of a very funny bunch of ladies.
I'm looking very naughty.
And when I look at this pic, I remember what I was thinking.
It was very naughty indeed.

Good times.