Tuesday, May 25, 2010

35 things ...

... I've learnt, pondered or realised since turning 35. It's been a busy few days.

1. When your life requires you to always carry wet wipes you can eat sticky buffalo chicken wings while driving.

2. Bull terriers are so named as they were used to bait bulls. This explains why they're often so !#%*ing irritating.

But not why they're sometimes so beautiful, would the bulls notice?

3. What's the point of 'easy-peel' lemons? Who ever peels a lemon?

4. It is possible to be too prepared. I thought I was so clever weighing out the dry ingredients for my birthday cake a week in advance and storing them in a ziploc (probably TM) bag until I was ready to bake. Turns out combining the baking powder and flour so early on meant the cake didn't rise as it should have. Still tasted damn good though.

5. I've been reading Richard Kelly's biography of Sean Penn and finding it fascinating. Penn's theory of the Chinese Lines of friendship is inspired.

6. It is possible to catch a fish, in a bush, 5 km away from the ocean. As demonstrated by our dog who pulled a dried and stinking, but sizable, fish out of a bush while we were out walking. Weird.

7. At this stage in my life inviting 4 girlfriends over for birthday tea and cake produces a crowd of no less than 9 children (including my own).

8. Making up a batch of cupcakes and providing different colour icing and some sprinkles is a most excellent way of keeping some of the above mentioned kids entertained.

9. It's dumb to visit a bird sanctuary without remembering to take binoculars.

10. Red wine stains on the baby blanket is not such a good look.

11. Yellow food colouring is the most persistent. I'm considering soaking my thumb in bleach for a few minutes.

12. If I had a suitable hiding place I'd seriously consider stashing all the tools etc my husband leaves lying around and then enjoy watching his mounting panic when he thinks he's lost them.

13. He'd be welcome to do the same for me.

14. Watching your children wrestle their own demons is very hard. Whether it's your 10 week old with a nasty cough (Yup, she's got it now. Of course), or your nearly-3 yr old battling her inner turmoil at the uncertainty of growing up, its painful to witness.

15. People are s-t-r-a-n-g-e.

16. Its fun to be on facebook over your birthday.

17. I miss my iPod, I don't get a lot of time to plug in when I'm perpetually keeping an ear open for the baby. I also think it would be oddly impolite to listen to it while breast-feeding - am I over-sensitive?

18. My mother is a SAINT.

19. You can take a nearly-3 yr old to water, but you can't keep her dry.

20. The approaching 5 week school holidays (stupid soccer world cup) fills me with fear and dread. My solution is to event-coordinate the fuck out of it. Frieda won't know what hit her.

21. Toes. I love them.

22. It's good to explore new places.

23. It's as good to revisit the places you've been.

24. Memories from student days turn out to be a little hazy in patches ...

25. One can spend a whole afternoon persuading a slightly constipated and nervous pre-schooler to Have a Poo. Fun times.

26. The tumble-dryer is rapidly replacing the dishwasher in my affections.

27. It's round about no. 27 that one can start regretting the whole 'list of 35 things' concept. 35?!

28. Maybe now that I'm 35 I should do proper research on the appropriate use of 'one' and 'you' and then stick to some kind of uniformity?

29. Ditto the use of colons and semi-colons. I've had it explained to me a zillion times. You know I'm an English Major right? Got a class medal and everything ...

30. Baby wetsuits. Now there's a bright idea (soon to beTM ).You suit 'em up at bedtime, they're easy-wipe and fully sealed. Should see you through the spills and thrills of even the worst nights.
You read it here first.

31. I found my birthday card from my Granny in the bushes under the postbox, the envelope half-eaten by snails and curiously lumpy. Fearing worms, soil or worse I opened it cautiously over the rubbish bin. Turns out it was one of those that makes a sound when you open it, a very tasteful Tawny Owl hoot (she's a tasteful gal my Gran). I love it, Frieda's intrigued by it and Lego the dog thinks its a monster from the very bowels of hell and must be destroyed! destroyed! omfg!

32. I'm working on a facebook photo album in which I plan to post photos of, and tag, as many of my facebook 'friends' as possible. I've been trawling our photo archives and have found some beauts. I'm kinda toying with the idea of then 'de-friending' anyone who I don't have a photo of, but I already know I won't do that.

33. I may be 35 but I'm still not above forcing Frieda to pause Postman Pat when I have to answer the phone. It was an episode I'd not seen before ok?

34. I'm thinking about home-schooling. Omg no, not actually doing it, just thinking about the concept and how possibly nuts you'd have to be to do it.

35. Turns out I've been mis-spelling 'surprise' my whole life. Suprise!

4 comments:

rxBambi said...

lol on number 10... what would the pre-school teacher say?!

great list! I tried doing a 39 things to do before I'm 40... I think I got to around 25 or 27 and said screw it. It's not even up any more.

you and Freida have great toes!

Rusty Hoe said...

Great list. I wish I had an ipod when I was up at 3am breast feeding. Instead I sat on the couch watching obscure and bizarre foreign language films with aesthetically challenged people having very unsexy-sex, on the only TV channel still playing at that hour. Use the ipod! :)

skinnylaminx.com said...

Sheesh, I'm impressed. And will NOT be following your example on my birthday. 40 is a lot.

julochka said...

10. it's also not great on your work meeting notebook (stupid turbulence that caused the spill).

12. i'm definitely going to do this.

13. he can go ahead and hide all of the random half-used kleenex i leave in my wake.

14. amen, sister.

27. i found the same thing when i did the 30 secrets thing last summer.

34. if you home school i may have to unfriend you on FB...because that's just wrong. and insane. and besides, you can't spell surprise. :-)

i hope you had a happy birthday!