Wednesday, November 17, 2010

pillow talk

I spend so much time in bed these days, but so little of it sleeping.

Last night I kept Stella in bed with us after her first wake-up (on the dot 2 hours after she'd gone to sleep). I'm not a fan of co-sleeping with anyone other than a) my husband, b) my cat or c) a very small newborn (or d) George Clooney, but that goes without saying right?), but I thought it worth a shot to see whether she slept any better.
Exactly 1 hour and 55 minutes later she started twitch, rouse, stretch and ... mewl.
Sigh.

Also, dear insomnia. Please fuck off. What makes you think it's okay to haunt a woman driven nearly demented by lack of sleep as it is?
Thanks.

One night recently Husband came to bed after me. I didn't stir. But when I next woke with Stella I brushed his arm with mine as I got out of bed and my heart stopped. His arm under the warm duvet was ice cold. I nearly puked from fright.
Turns out just before bed he'd been out at the pool, wrestling with the filtration system, up to his shoulder in the icy water. He'd obviously fallen asleep minutes before I'd woken up and I was not, thank god, lying next to his handsome corpse.

The best thing about breast-feeding? The reading. As long as I'm able to hold it with one hand (Kingsolver's Lacuna is going to have to wait a while), I'm feedin' and readin', readin' and feedin'.

The song playing on continuous loop through my head in the mornings:
Tears for Fears - Mad World
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
You gotta wonder right?
And finally, a short list of Consumables Enabling me to Survive this Trying Time:
- white chocolate, especially if its got Smarties innit
- coke, or sadly Tab, as satisfying in its black fizziness but failing dismally in its distinct lack of sugar and caffeine
- coleslaw - maybe it's the crunch, maybe it's the mayo, but its working for me
- an effervescent energy booster at 3pm sharp - a minute later and we're all crying by 5
- water, water, water, water
Numbers 1, 2 and 5 often get consumed in bed. Coleslaw not so much and if I were able to be in bed at 3pm I wouldn't need the f*king energy booster would I?

Lordy I can't wait for the day I'll read this post and laugh.

5 comments:

McGillicutty said...

I'm on a vitamin kick right now... I know... so not like me.. mega doses and it's really working for me.. try vit C and B-3 for energy.
Also.... you could try hiring four nannies like Camille Grammer... worked for her!!! LOL
hope you feel rested again soon.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

I'm sorry you have to write these, but I so enjoy reading them.
I'll join you in your misery soon enough. And number 4... I'm right there with ya.

ps- who would get kicked out of bed first for eating coleslaw: a pregnant woman or a sleep-deprived mama?

Shopgirl said...

agree with McGillicutty on Vitamin, I rejected them for years and now finally started taking, they work!

Sorry you can't sleep, having been an insomniac for years, I can relate how tiresome it is to wake at 3am (every day for me), and stare at the ceiling.

I enjoyed reading your stories and that picture of the dog bum! :)

Jenny said...

Hahaha this post made me laugh. For the past couple of days I haven't been sleeping very well. It started out with me having nightmares which is weird cause I never get nightmares then it switched to me waking up constantly by tossing and turning.

It's really annoying cause I never had a sleeping problem before. I could sleep anywhere and sleep for over 12 hours. Hmmm I wonder if I'm getting sick. I better of not jinxed myself lol. P.s. I love your blog!

http://jennythegoldengirl.blogspot.com/

Kathleen said...

I also have been on a vitamin kick and D3 is my friend. It really gives me energy along with some B6 and 12.

I hope things turn around for you soon! I know being so close to sleep and it eluding you over and over is so very frustrating. Laying there wanting to sleep but every movement, rustling, and sound knocks you back to the start. Just know there is an end to it even if you cannot see it now=)

Thinking of you

Kathleen xx