Monday, May 12, 2014

am I? am I a bitch?

A year ago someone called me a bitch, and just last week I discovered that someone else thought I was one.

Please believe me when I say that in principle this doesn't really bother me. I fully embraced my inner bitch some years ago. I know I'm no angel, I know I'm forthright and outspoken. But I like to think I use my powers of bitchdom in situations which deserve it, not to hurt or offend innocent parties.
Ah, such deliciously self-serving rationale ...

What does bother me is to be misunderstood, and what really bothers me is to find out after the fact, in a roundabout way, that I've upset someone. That despite being hurt, that person didn't have the balls/take the time to call me out on it. I just don't get that.

I'm working remotely from a big office. I communicate with them all predominantly by email. I went in to the office last week and discovered that someone there took offence to an email I wrote 3 weeks ago and said .... nothing.
Also, did nothing.
Didn't respond to subsequent queries from me, didn't action any of the tasks I needed done before I could proceed. Just decided to pretend I don't exist while I continued in blissful (yet puzzled) oblivion.

Mature huh?

And yet I was the one who apologised and explained and contextualised the 'offensive' email, and this person graciously accepted my apology while saying nothing about all the ways my work has been sabotaged by their lack of co-operation.
And then I went home and sent an email kindly re-requesting all the information I need in order to fulfill my contractual obligation to the organisation and received a response promising to 'get it to me soon'.
That was last Wednesday.

Call me a bitch, but seriously what the fuck kind of way is that to conduct yourself professionally?

Aaaaand, back to zen.


Laoch of Chicago said...

It is challenging, but it really is best not to care what other people think. Most often their opinion is valueless, especially since they really never know you, like you know yourself.

My brother is fond of quoting the economist Larry Summers, "Look around, there are idiots."

Molly said...

Great quote. There are idiots everywhere ... I find I'm less concerned about what people think then their inability to express themselves.
I can't believe an adult would be upset with a colleague and not be able/take the time to clear the air, rather simmer with it for weeks. Idiots ...