Thursday, February 18, 2010

the skinny

Not me! Wha ha ha ha ha.

No, no baby yet. But 3 getaways in 3 weeks, lots, lots less internet/computer time than usual and some rather persuasive distraction has left this blog a little thin. At least one of us is.

As much as I've been swayed that way recently, and will no doubt even more so in the coming months, my intention's never been to be a mommy-blogger, or a diary blogger, and truthfully all my bloggable thoughts and experiences lately are about this baby, my days preparing for her, or just about the serene and rather bovinely tranquil place I've reached in my head in anticipation of her arrival.

I could blog about how I'm 1.08cm in diameter, how I'm rapidly running out of semi-decent things to wear (thank fk for the Yummy Mummy Tummy), how I think I'm in labour at least once a day.
I could get grusomely graphic about the emergency kit (2 maternity pads, a black bag - to protect my car seat - and a sarong) I've been carrying around in case my waters break in public. Or how I've started leaking a bit of breastmilk occasionally - I warned you - or how many grusomely graphic natural birth accounts I've been reading online.
I could witter on about doing piles of tiny small laundry. And then finding my cats asleep in the baskets of neatly folded clothes and having to wash them all again.
I could confess how packing this little outfit into my hospital bag - yup, it's ready at the door - made me get a little teary ...

[imagine if you will a picture here of a very cute little white, pink & grey outfit - stupid bloggrrrrr won't let me upload images]

Or how the other evening I had a moment of 'Um, no, don't feel like doing this anymore ... could I change my mind?'
How some crazy evenings with Frieda going full tilt and the cats yowling for their supper and the dog hot-lapping round the house I'm filled with icy terror at the thought of introducing a newborn into the mix.
How just today I succumbed to removing my wedding ring from my swollen finger.


But actually all I can say is I've reached this remarkably calm and reflective headspace. I didn't get a chance to experience this with Frieda's pregnancy, maybe its impossible the first time round anyway, but I really feel like I've reached some zen plateau (maybe it's the eye of the storm), and it's making me be quiet and move slow and feel ... ready.

Long may it last.