an hour

What does the busy, sleep-deprived Mum of two small children do with a stolen hour while enjoying an incredible spa pedicure (courtesy of a dear friend - thank you H!)?

Turns out the answer is: cry.

Yup, while a sweet Thai girl called Pitar pumiced and pounded my feet this morning, I lay back under a scented eye-mask and had a little weep.

Here's the thing about being a new mother and time. Firstly, I have none. Time that is. But secondly, and seemingly contradictory, I spend a lot of time doing very little. This is called breast feeding.
A lot of time doing very little. A lot of time rooted to one spot where, if you don't have your diary, book or TV remote handy (and you're not simultaneously trying to read a story, shovel some cereal, wipe a bum, update facebook - 'cos all of this also often happens), you can find yourself staring at the wall your baby and feeling pretty unproductive.
(and yes, yes, I know I'm sustaining a human life and all that but still ...)

And so the hour set aside for this morning's treatment became even more valuable than it would seem. An hour without a baby on the boob or a child requiring attention. An hour in which I would still be immobile but my brain could roam free. An hour of peace and tranquility through which it would be a crime to sleep. Tricky ...
I knew before I got there that I was definitely not going to spend it in inane chatter with whoever was doing my pedi. I considered zoning out on my iPod but the battery was flat. I thought as I parked my car that I might succumb to some trashy magazine reading, but turns out it wasn't that kind of spa.

It seems I was going to be forced to just relax. And it seems that when presented with a little quiet corner in which to let go and just be, what my body wanted to do more than anything was have a little cry.
And so I did.
If Pitar noticed (how could she not), she said nothing which earned her a fat tip right there, and after a little weep and a simply fabulous foot treatment, I came home feeling much refreshed, inside and out.