still not 40!

But to be honest, having moments in which I kind of wish I was ...

I know that sounds ridiculous, but right now, on my 39th birthday, I'm SO fine (and indeed excited) at the thought of my 40's that a part of me wishes that was starting now.
Lord knows how that might change and what kind of crises of aging I could have in the next 364 days ...

This evening one of my older sisters-in-law (I have many) remarked on how in years gone by she'd never find us at home when she phoned to wish me, or if we were there'd be loud voices and shenanigans in the background ...
This birthday is the quietest one I've had in years. And I couldn't be happier.

Takeaways for supper, whiskey cocktails to toast with, husband upstairs putting the girls to bed and then we're catching up with Game of Thrones. There may even be dessert.
Pure bliss.

I got in from Joburg last night, after a fantastic and exhausting few days, tomorrow I'll need to face my inbox in earnest, but today was all about me - and that's how birthdays ought to be right?

I've got a little bit of fun planned though.

My collage tutor is headlining this exhibition opening on Saturday night, and asked me to submit a piece. Yup, an artwork of mine will appear in an exhibition.

My very first.

If I was a bucket list kind of girl, and if I had one of things to do/achieve before I'm 40, then this would've been on it.

Tick.

20 years today

I was 18. Voting for the first time, just like millions of my countrymen and women.

We were in the tiny seaside town where I grew up. In 1994 there were no designated voting stations. We pitched up with our green bar-coded ID book and voted. All of us.

It was heady, surreal and we knew it was HUGE - even without twitter, facebook, 24h TV, text messages or the internet, we could feel the vibe. Could feel the world's eyes, the enormous exhale, the teeth on edge, the fingertip tingling belly cramping slightly nauseous inducing excitement and apprehension: what next?

For us, what was next was to go down to the beach, huddle out of the rain in the deserted life-savers' shack, play cards, drink quarts of beer, smoke cigarettes, play djembe drums, and try and imagine how this would change the course of our lives.

On that grey and rainbow-hued day, I think this was kind of what I had in mind.

Frieda and her bestie - June 2013.

This country is so radically complex, but basically: humanity wins. Amandla.

collage

I've rewarded myself (after the stupid, stupid job I've just finished) with a month of collage classes with this lady.

I can't draw. Or sew. The medium I've always been most comfortable in is paper, and I've been playing with collage since high school.
[SIDE TRACKED! I went off looking for a collaged workbook I knew I still had from 1992 and found my old diaries ... there goes my weekend!]

all mine

Naturally I signed up for the course and immediately started a 'collage' board on Pinterest.

someone else's

I've no idea what to expect, and I'm very happy to remain ignorant until class starts and let the ideas rush in then, but it doesn't hurt to hone your eye right?

I'm drawn to changing perspective and message through simple techniques.

eugenia_loli

Nick Paliughli

I like the use of negative space.

Jeorge Chamarro

I'd like to tell something of my life.

But my god I'd also love to be able to do this.

Derek Gores

And I wish I'd made this.

But all my (cough) best work thus far has always been spontaneous and inspired by the images on hand, I can't wait to see what Wednesday evening holds.

PS. The first person to say 'scrap-booking' gets a kick in the ass.

inertia

I'm not going to lie, spending three days sitting on my exquisitely-positioned stoop, stoned on painkillers, having conversations with nearests and dearests, my kids largely being taken care of by themselves and others, has definitely had its moments.

When I first posted about the sprain on FB, a friend with a 3 yo and 2 yo TRIPLETs retorted: Lucky you!
I can't fault her envy.

There's something undeniable about crutches. Unlike a cold, or a tummy bug, or just plain slackness, no one can really doubt your inability to do certain things (like carrying a mug of hot tea), and after spending the first 24h after the sprain fighting rising panic, I've found a place of calm acceptance.

This is not unlike being pregnant. My body is doing something which has meant I've had to change my modus operandi, have had to embrace assistance, have had to surrender to the now and patiently wait it out.

I've had more down time in the last 3 days than the whole of the long summer holiday - this cannot be all bad right?

It's just ... not how I'd planned to start my year. 2014 was to be about speed. Doing more work, getting my motorbike licence, moving a little faster now that my kids no longer hold as tightly to my apron strings.

But no, seems it is to start with a period of very slow contemplation. Right. Back to the stoop.

best foot forward

Late on Wednesday afternoon, I stepped off the patio to catch a glimpse of a Fish Eagle I heard calling over the lake.
And turned my ankle.

I always thought Fish Eagles were one of my spirit guides (long story), but I'm still trying to work out how this one was serving my best interests.

Doc this morning gives me 2-4 weeks immobility (I'm on crutches) as a best case scenario. Could be closer to 6.
Right foot sprained, no driving, swollen toes, sore arms and palms from crutches, work-stressed husband/solo parent, delightfully helpful little girls (for now), school starting next week, anti-inflammatory meds, complete state of disbelief.

Really 2014? Really?

This is not how I'd thought we'd set off together.

gratuitous photo of small girls running, because they can