the deep and meaningful one

I had occasion today to ponder the role of spiritual guru's. 

This is not something I make a habit of by any means. Pondering stuff that is. But today I met a woman of whom much has been said in a number of different friendship circles, a woman who seems to be some kind of spiritual healer, advisor and, from what I can tell, general all-rounder in the field of esoteric um ... anything.

And I found her smug. And self-satisfied. And also, b-o-r-i-n-g. Oh and, she complied with a few too many of my 10 Basic Reasons Not To Like Someone.

no. 4 Ended every sentence with a smile, not a real smile tho' -it never reaches the eyes- just a condescending little 'are you following me?' smile.  ✓

no. 7 Used her hands when speaking in a manner which I find overly dramatic, and therefore pretentious. ✓

and,

no. 10 Annoyed the crap out of me. ✓

And it's not like I'm prejudiced or anything. Noooo, I'm like the least judgemental person you've ever met. No, really ...

Ok, not really. I'm a sceptical, cynical dried-up old hag. Especially when it comes to spiritual guidance. [Please note: not spirituality per se ~ that's a whole other kettle of two fish CGI-ed to feed a multitude ~ today I'm just talking about spiritual leadership.]

I have never been able to shake the feeling that religious or spiritual 'leaders' are almost always entrusted with too much power, too much influence, and too much power too often equals abuse thereof. And smugness. Have I mentioned how much the smugness annoys the f*ck out of me?

Whether it's a sanctimonious Dutch Reform dominee with a perfectly knotted tie and suspiciously clean hands, or a fake lace be-clad ohmming auntie with cool sandals (see? no prejudice from me), it totally frikkin' irks me. No, I don't want to take instruction from you as to how I should feel and conduct myself spiritually. I'm not interested in your interpretation of what's going on 'out there' and what might happen to me if/when I die. I don't really feel like receiving your guidance on how I should handle my relationships.

Is it arrogant to assume I'm qualified to unravel all that alone? With just my context, my experience, my friends, my touch-stones and, er ... my life. I'll risk it.

Maybe when I find one god to believe in I'll be more inclined to listen to it's disciples. For now, I'm just not that into you, guru.