Wednesday, January 13, 2010

weighed down

Not having been pregnant in high summer before I'd not realised how, despite weighing a good 10kg more than normal, it's so much harder to dive to the bottom of the pool!
Talk about a floatation device, I nearly went looking for husband's diving weight belt after floundering around on the (very warm) surface for a while. Cooled me down though.

Cape Town hit 40 degrees today, possibly higher in some places. A heat-wave to neatly coincide with the first day back at school. And for some the first day of school.
Facebook is full of pictures of friend's kiddies, all fresh haircuts and too-big uniforms, lots of proud grins and shiny new backpacks.

'Twas a similar story in our house. Frieda started at a play-school down the road.
She too had a fresh hair fringe cut (courtesy of her mother, apparently she doesn't look too much like a dork), but was in the same grubby sandals she's been wearing all summer due to there being no summer shoes available to buy anymore. Oh no, the summer season's over see, it's all winter gear in the shops. Step outside stupid frikkin' head of whatever department decided that. Ffs.
And she had the proud grin, and the backpack with the carefully labeled spare clothes and carefully packed snack-box.
And me? I was biting back the tears.

But why? If I have to honestly examine my reasons it wasn't the obvious 'my baby's growing up'. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that. I don't think it wasn't the leaving her with strangers for a couple of hours - I know she can handle that.
To be perfectly honest this morning I think I was feeling emotional at the thought of years and years of school ahead of us all. Of rushed mornings and packed lunches, of finding lost gym gear and homework and PTA meetings. Of being the Mum.

The thought exhausts me. Just like this heat.
Back to the pool, maybe this time I'll dive in clutching a big ole rock!


molly said...

i love it.
not having kids, i wonder if sometimes the looming years ahead feel as heavy as a rock. other times, light as summer shoes...

kat said...

...of course on the hottest day that you mention I decided to repaint our study. The room in the house with the most edging of windows and door frames. Naturally. The room ended up a crisp white with cool pacific blue on one wall - and I ended up puce!

Hope you feeling a little less exhausted.

spudballoo said...

Oh this made me weep a bit. My eldest starts 'proper' school in September. And I'm already really quite glum about how our easy/relaxed mornings will soon be gone forever...and our lives ruled by terms and holidays and fun stuff kept for weekeneds only and homework and people being mean etc etc.

Cry. x