my year of bike

One evening in January I was on my second (maybe third, it was January) glass of wine when Husband saw a notice for a 'Small Bike Ride' the next day. Bikes under 250CC only.

That's perfect for the Madass he mused...

I messaged the organisers and signed up for the ride, woke the next morning feeling queasy and silly with apprehension and then got on the road and met a team of scooters heading south for coffee.

It was weird and nerve-wracking and I spent most of it feeling like a little old lady, but by later that day I'd had lots of compliments on my weird little Sachs Madass 125, met a bunch of fun people, and was on a whatsapp group of women riders.

For the next couple of months I joined them on the occasional Tuesday for a glorious ride after work, in the late summer evenings.

One of the most memorable taking us to Hout Bay harbour where we met this tame seal and the dude who wrangled him to pose with tourists or in this case, bikes.

In March, a bike weekend away! 150kms out of Cape Town - all tar - and with our friends meeting us there by car so they ferried our luggage - a cheat by real biker standards.

Getting more confident every day I more consciously started working bikes into my errands and meetings schedules - looking for those gaps where I could take a bike - a magical trifecta of no kids, no groceries, no wine...

I even, in a desire to improve my confidence off-road, got talked into buying a mid-size, lighter scrambler... turns out it's much too tall for me - even after adjustments - but weirdly it's still in our stable, being ridden by Husband and loaned to friends - and giving our eldest ideas...

Later in the year we took the Triumphs all the way (by trailer) to a friend's Karoo farm and I had some fun practising offroad and bashing around on the farm.

The best (bike) fun was on our return though. We had car trouble (not fun) and limped into town until about 15km from home, where we decided we couldn't push it anymore and pulled over to call for tow truck support before it got dark.

But we did have two motorbikes.

Leaving Husband with the girls I got my bike off the trailer and tore home through the traffic, to collect our other car to tow the trailer in and ferry girls and luggage home.

Mummy hero!

And then the best ride of them all...

Clarence Drive is biker heaven. A beautifully built, winding coastal road with a smooth surface and perfect design.

It was incredible riding it. Miraculously we had no traffic going our way. No cars to come up behind or anyone breathing down my back to get moving. I took every corner just the way I wanted to - fast or slow - and could really settle into the moment in all it's scenic glory. 

I feel like it was a moment I'll remember forever.

That ride was on the way to our raffle-ticket-win weekend away. 180km this time, a mix of fast, busy national road, beautiful coastal riding, through small towns and across bridges, and down a steep gravel section - me paddling down it at one stage, yelling at Husband why am I such a pussy??! while he giggled gently through our helmet comms and murmured encouraging words from the bottom of the hill.

We had luggage this time. Packed the bare minimum from home and stopped twice - once for a massive steak and then in the last closest town for necessities like milk, chocolate, beer and mince pies, before riding the last stretch through sunset weighed down with goodies, heading to our lux cabin in the fynbos for two days of bliss - all the cliched free as a bird biker tropes playing with the breeze through my helmet.

I've had my license since 2018, but just this year I feel like I got my wings.

growth

Have you also spent this last month looking at your kids, your pets, your home, your things and thinking what the actual fuck would I do with all of these if we had to flee?

Then doom-scrolling some more about the devastation in the Ukraine, making a comment about Zelenskyy being the hottest short guy in the world right now and going back to living your hyper-blessed life in your own deeply problematic and damaged country on this here burning planet?

What a time to be alive.

Because we are. We are alive and the wheel turns in the same ways it always has - the tide ebbs and flows.

Stella turned 12!

She planned her celebration down to the last detail, the group and the activities and the timings. We went to an indoor trampoline park - and took this 'album cover' photo on the way out - and then home to ours for pizza and movies and cake and a sleepover. 

I realised halfway through the evening that she wasn't doing great but she fiercely batted away all my queries, only the next day having a big sob about how she'd missed us at her party (us who were there throughout but just in the background making pizza and beds in the lounge) and wished it had just been the family at home and felt sad about one day living without us.

12 is hard y'all, that bridge between childhood and teen-dom is shaky and unknown and excitement for the future still so tightly bound to nostalgia for something which is not yet even really in the past. This photo was more prophetic than we'd realised.

Frieda - further along that bridge - went to her first big proper outdoor party recently, with DJ's and multiple dance-floors and cashless food trucks and (temporary) tattoo vendors. 

It was 13 - 18 year olds only, obviously no booze etc and heavily monitored (these parties are big business these days), but her first time alone in a big crowd with just her mates, her wits and (hopefully) her mother's voice in her ears ... 'trust your gut', 'stick with your friends', 'call me if you need to' and 'most importantly have fun'.

We were being very cool about it all, but as I drove away from dropping her off at a friend's to get ready I was surprised at how emotional I felt, and later - much later - when I'd fetched them from the party at midnight - hoarse, filthy and shiningly happy - and we were back home for tea and toast before bed she confessed to also feeling a small wobble as I'd driven away that afternoon.

The umbilical cord stretches, stretches very very far, but never breaks.

We rode off on our motorbikes last weekend for a grown ups trip up the coast.

As we packed the girls off to friends and grandparents for the weekend they both, separately, sincerely, and with no prompting, told us to have a really good time, to have fun, to enjoy the ride and the time away.

Is there any greater confirmation of parenting goals than your kids being lovely people - to you, their friends or themselves? I don't think so.

We spent the weekend at the edge of the ocean - reveling in the quiet and unstructured quality of time spent without any dependents, wondering at the luck of living in a place where even average middle-class folk such as ourselves can access places of such exclusive beauty, knowing that for the accident of birth us, and our children, could be leading totally different lives.

Watching the full moon Solstice tide ebb and flow, ebb and flow.. feeling tiny amongst the enormity of it all.

we can do hard things

 ...but jeez, we will generally go to huge lengths not to.

Well, I do at least. When I have a choice, I'm all about that path of least resistance, min effort for max gain, keeping it simple, keeping it fun, taking the shortest way round.  

But already in these first few weeks of 2022 I've done some hard things - and it's felt really good.

I've gone on two group motorbike rides with total strangers. 

The first just me with a bunch of cool kids, but on my small bike on a route that I know well. The second with Charl, but on my big bike, a totally unknown route and at least 25 other proficient riders. Shooweee, my nerves!

Motorbike riders are cool right? And ballsy, and mostly all they want to talk about are bikes. This crowd is quite a bit younger than me, with hipper gear and better stories and way more experience. But I kept my nerve and un-wedgied my big girl panties and tried earnestly to remember my bike's specs for the coffee chat and not fall too far behind on the ride and to not forget to put on my gloves before my helmet like a newbie.

So rad.

How cute is my bike though?

I've gone back to CrossFit.

Six weeks short of two years later, I walked back in to a CrossFit box. With my atrophied muscles and my pandemic weight gain and my complete lack of fitness I've signed up to a box where I know no one. That first class I was a bundle of nerves, but I walked (staggered) out of there feeling like a champ and have been back and have signed up for more. What. A. Vibe.

How cute are my shoes though?

And then just today, another hard thing.

How cute is this though?

From motor-biking to CrossFit to puzzles which require reading glasses - 2022 has had some challenges already. But I'll take these over drought, death and disease - some of the challenges of the last few years - any day.

My wish for this year is to have agency. To not just be reactive to the shit life throws at us, but proactive in doing things which make me feel stronger and better and more in control. 

We can do hard things, and not all hard things have to suck.

camera roll: April

April. I like April, always have.

At the beginning of the month I astounded myself - and a few others I think - by passing my motorbike drivers licence on the first attempt!
My learner's licence would expire in June and I was determined to get my drivers before then. Buying a gorgeous new bike was very motivating (more about that later) and while I was still not working to any extreme deadline and had the time I decided to get it done.
3 hours at the traffic department to book the appointment, a 3 hour training session with a highly-recommended local motorbike training school, another hour or so arsing about in the road outside our house practising emergency braking and stuff - and I got it. Yippee!

Awetumn continued in all its magnificence. I don't think I'll ever tire of taking photos of this view. I've been thinking I should be collating them somehow ...

My wee nephew turned one. Actually he turned 1 in March but everyone was away and his party delayed by a few weeks. My sister-in-law asked her mum to make a sugar-free cake - and this was the utterly amazing result!
All the elements came to his beach party in various tupperwares to be constructed on site - watermelon, sweet melon, pineapple, dragon fruit (totally tasteless, but very pretty), kiwi, grapes, gooseberries, naartjie, strawberry, pomegranate. It was so delicious and indulgent, and very, very impressive!

Frieda and I squeezed in another night away with my parents in Betty's Bay. We'd so enjoyed our stay there before that we had to get out there again while they were still in residence.

We left on a Saturday morning - the plan was for both girls to go with me -  but Stella was dragging her feet, still sloughing around in her pajamas when I was ready to leave. 'Actually I think I'll stay with Dad' she declared. And so she did. We split 50/50 and I had a great time with just my big girl, Stella and her Dad an equally good time without us. Funny that we hardly ever think to do that, but so good for us all. 

23 April - first fire of the season! It was lovely (especially for dogs) and got us all excited about cooler days and wintery delights.

Of course being Cape Town that didn't actually mean it was winter yet. We've still had glorious still sunshiney days.

A national bus strike left me without childcare for a week or so, necessitating doing the school lifts myself, and reminding me how fun it can be to kill time between pick-ups with just one daughter and a slushie at the harbour down the road from the school - spotting seals and boats and cheeky seagulls.

I'll never need to be reminded of how lucky we are to live here though, and be able to do these things on an arbitrary Tuesday afternoon.

And then some REAL rain, bringing joy to all our hearts. The 5000l rain water storage tank we installed in mid December is finally nearly full! It's only taken nearly 6 months ...

Apparently good rain in April sets the tone for the rest of winter, we're holding thumbs this is the case!

And then, just at the end of the month, this little girl turned 1. Nacho the Naughty she is - from a very mild-mannered puppy she's become quite headstrong and stubborn, chewing furniture and any unattended toys. We've had to be very vigilant of late, but we still love her to bits and she's a real member of the family.

50 things about right now

1. It's the winter school holidays.
2. 3 weeks with my babies, my home, my pets, my life. Delicious.

3. Little bits of work in the mornings, then kids, plans, outdoors, friends, food. Slow time.
4. We're reading The BFG.
5. I'm reading Jane Austen.
6. After too many Netflix cartoons I declared a week of pure David Attenborough. They're loving it.
7. I'm watching House of Cards in front of the heater every evening.
8. It's fucking cold.
9. Those microwaveable beanbag goodies are our life-savers.
10. The girls take them to bed, and I reheat them much later when I go to bed.
11. Moments like that I really win at parenting.
12. I wish I was collaging but it's too damn cold in my studio in the evenings.
13. North-facing. It's the only way to build a home.

no filter, no tidying - and no indication at all from this pic how cold it is outside

14. There's a mid-morning sunbeam on my bed that is the most enticing thing I've discovered of late.
15. However, awesome jeans are pretty enticing too ... I've recently discovered some.
16. I may need another pair.
17. I've done one small home improvement every day this holiday.

the girls room - spruced, sorted out and spotless. for now.

18. I'm exceedingly proud of this.

19. Things had really been allowed to slide around here ... 

20. One evening recently husband and I did seven small DIY jobs. Seven.

21. I'd post a pic of my linen cupboard but really, there are limits - even to arbness.

22. As much as I moan about winter, it is a wonderfully subtle season.

23. We really live in a most beautiful place.
24. An old friend, with whom I still connect on Facebook, is totally pro-Israel, posting nasty anti-Palestine stuff.
25. A rare moment when Facebook becomes regrettable, I'd rather not know that about him.
26. As I get older I respect death more. And feel the loss of life more keenly.
27. Being a parent contributes to that, but I think it's a more universal lesson for (just about) 40.
28. Our pup's getting older too.

29. And they're becoming better friends. Lego is still the chew-toy, but she hands him his ass on the lawn every afternoon, running him down 'til he knows who's boss.

30. We're enjoying watching their relationship develop, and his with each of us - there is an uncanny 'little brother' presence he's brought to our house. The errant youngest son we're all raising together.

31. Have I mentioned we're having a wonderful holiday?

32. We planned to try and see lots of friends we struggle to find time for during the crazy school weeks, and we have.

33. Lots of lovely mums and kids time: affirming, warm, supportive, fond afternoons with dear friends.

34. We've got this track on repeat. I think it's our holiday anthem!

35. A 10 foot trampoline has possibly become my best parenting buy EVER. They're on it for hours, and have learnt many lessons about sharing, negotiation, aerodynamics and acrobatics.

36. We're on the hunt for a new mattress. Most Boring Purchase Ever. But long overdue.

37. Apparently futon's went out in the '90's.

38. Hard-as-a-plank futon and all, we've been spending a lot of time in bed lately. Cats, books, bean bags, laptop, tea, bed. Winter has its perks.

39. Coca Cola Double Fudge Cake. Diabolical.

40. I'm working on my next collage pieces and thrumming with inspiration. Now to actually STICK SOMETHING.

41. I've found a Cape Town supplier for Mod Podge. No one but deprived locals will understand the significance of this.

42. Husband and I have discovered our musical tastes are growing apart. I'm okay with this. As long as I don't have to listen to any more Gogol Bordello.

43. Bleeding eardrums.

44. Have I mentioned it's beautiful here?

45.On Saturday I'm attending an all day Learn to Ride motorbiking course.

46. I have 6 months to get my licence before my Learner's expires and I'm determined to do it.

47. On Saturday night we've a raucous party planned.

48. It's very convenient when good friends with more energy for these things have birthdays in the same week as ones husband - we're getting good at piggy-back partying.

49. There's that cake. And the last immediate family birthday for the year. They do come thick and fast round here.

50. Life is good.

school fees

He started off with a random act of neighbourliness, a small gesture which clearly put me at ease and established him as a decent enough fellow.
And then, despite later discovering that there was a warning notice up at our local mini-mart and a number of items recently published in the local rag (which I never read), I fell for his routine like the famed fishie, and let him into our house which he left, 5 minutes later, with a cell phone. Not his own.

It seems he even used one of his standard stories, about needing to clear branches from the phone line behind our house. A brilliant tactic in the light of how harden we are towards tales of hard-times and hungry children, I never fall for those anymore but someone offering to make my life easier? Yes please.

He was personable, nice, pleasant to the kids. He spoke very fast, which rang a distant warning bell, but my charitable brain thought he was just a considerate guy not wanting to inconvenience his neighbours more than necessary.

When I reported the incident to the police I was told my report was one of three in our area this weekend - all sounding like the same guy. At least I'm not the only dumb-ass on the block, I'm in illustrious company with the chairperson of the Neighbourhood Watch no less. Now that's embarrassing!

School fees my husband calls it. The price paid for lessons learned. Sadly the lesson in this case is to be more suspicious, even of nice people.
It goes against my grain and I hate that it's a reality in my life.

Other realities of the weekend:
'Cos misery apparently does love company we also had no hot water for 48 hours  - bust geyser - and Stella popped 2 molars - no sleep for me.
But, because the world, and Observatory, is a place of eternal dichotomy, I was again reminded of how comforting it is to live in a community. I walked round to a friend's for a blissfully long soak in her bathtub at midday and lay there listening to the hum of her sewing machine. Later I walked the girls down to my brother's house to bath them. Every (legit) neighbour and friend we encountered was sympathetic and displayed that curious bent for humour we South Africans have developed for times such as these.
It's a funny old world.

And. The weather has been wonderful, I'm in flip-flops at 9pm, we had Cesar Salad for dinner, husband realised a dream purchasing a 1976 Honda cafe racer, we finally got a new ironing board, there's a week of fun ahead. Silver linings hey, gotta keep your eye on them.

27 dec 2010

One last Christmas present,
~ a few hours childcare from my parents
~ a bike ride round the Peninsula with my babe
~ an exquisite seafood lunch
~ a reminder that I live in a beautiful place, and am loved by beautiful people.

2/10 things I lovetohate that you do

These boots. Can we talk about them?

These reinforced steel-plated biker boots exclusively designed to protect your toes.

Can we talk about my toes? And the semi-permanent damage done to them by falling over these boots countless times?

Can we talk about putting these goddamn boots AWAY? Like, in a CUPBOARD?

Thanks babe.

me. husband. bike. happiness.

As part of my ongoing birthday treats (I don't call it a Birthday Week for nothing), Husband whipped me off for a romantic bike-away yesterday, something we've been wanting to do for months. Don't we look cool?

We stayed in a small-town hotel in a really small town called McGregor, about 2-3 hours drive from Cape Town. Frieda was with her doting Grandparents, Lego the Pup spent her first night Home Alone.

And we relished being unfettered and free ~ a gorgeous drive, an extremely yummy dinner - patè, lamb, a magnificent wine and verging-on-orgasmic crème brulee at a tiny, 16 seater restaurant housed in an old mill house - 

- and a dawn departure this morning, to wind our way home (a little hungover ...) through picturesque farmlands and along magnificent coastal roads. 

Quality hubby & me mini-break. Yum.

Some gratuitous notes on biking:

• avoid wearing underwear with a lacy trim, the itchy vibration of the lace in the small of one's back can drive one M-A-D.
• remember not to have a fizzy drink with one's greasy roadside pie - the small pocket of air inside one's helmet doesn't circulate that quickly, thereby trapping even the smallest burp for longer than one would like.
• try to plan your route to avoid sewerage plants for the same reason. Small pocket of air. Slow circulation. Trapped. Eeuw.
• when riding pillion one tends to look mainly round one side of the driver's helmet, often missing beautiful scenery on the other side of the road. An important life lesson: by shifting your butt just slightly, you can change your whole perspective.
• when bored on the back of a bike (as if), one can use the reflection inside one's visor to ponder one's open pores and increasing wrinkles. This is not recommended.
• be cool. Putting one's gloves on before one's helmet, catching one's foot when trying to swing onto the back of the bike and trying to scratch one's nose with one's visor down all immediately peg you as a newbie.

election day on the southern-most tip of africa

We voted.

And then, with the rest of a lovely still, cool, public holiday ahead of us, we dropped the kidlet off at Granny's and took a long bike ride round this awesome place we live.

I just tried to upload this one to Earth Mosaic, but it seems they've been inundated and are no longer able to upload anything. Guess the world's a pretty big place ...

And some more eating ... Lovely fish 'n prawns, with my tagged thumb to prove I did my civic duty.

Let's see what comes of that.