house of eels: july 2017*

It's officially a thing: our annual weekend away with this lot.

One of our party (not me, which is part of the treat) is ace at researching and finding out of the way yet fully lux and intriguing venues and, crucially, taking charge of rallying us all to find a free weekend, paying the deposit and getting us all to commit.
Another (again, not me!), takes on planning a menu, doing the shopping and packing and arriving with all the scrumptious supplies we'll need for 3 days of feasting and drinking like kings and queens.

Always dog and kiddie friendly, always comfy and a little decadent, always perfectly structured to accommodate our growing gang.
This year we had babies, one human and one furry ...

And this year, as with the last two, we had the best time - full of wine and friends and magnificent meals and adventures, and did I mention wine?

And hangover strategies ...

... and enough wholesome outdoor activities for us not to feel too bad about them.

*After my last post I've done a lot of thinking about all the wonderful moments 2017 gave us, and feeling amiss for not recording them here. I'm going to play catch-up a little, because 2017 wasn't all bad, and it'll do well to remember that.

14

I got a kiss and a cuddle at 4 am before he left for the airport and a 3 day business trip.

I fell soundly back to sleep until 7 when the doorbell woke me. It was the delivery of my online wine purchase.
It seems vaguely immoral to take delivery of 12 bottles of wine so early in the morning, but in lieu of an anniversary bouquet? It'll do.

The kids are on holiday. I have to work.
There was a bit of juggling that and then a drive round the coast to fetch F's bestie and a stop at the harbour to stand on the rocks and watch whales cavort not 50m off shore from us.
A submarine, yes - South Africa's only submarine, chugged by in the background.

A Southern Right whale and a submarine in the same frame make for a pretty exceptional moment, were it not that we're spoiled rotten enough to see both on a regular basis.

Then home to work work work work work, interrupted only by my mother bearing celebratory poppies (what a wonderful mother indeed) and a puppy who needed a reassuring cuddle. I was happy to oblige.

Dinner out with a friend and a gaggle of little girls. It might seem funny to celebrate one's wedding anniversary with one's most freshly divorced friend but it was a pretty unconventional day as it was.

Home, girls in front of a movie, an hour long chat with my newly widowed sister-in-law. I confessed to her the Tom Selleck / brother-in-law dilemma of my youth and we had a silly giggle.

I finished off some more work, staved off some more puppy cuddles, had a dear message exchange with one of my bestest of friends, and will now go to bed where not my one true love awaits, but an elderly black cat who will sleep up against my heart and a small girl who told me earlier (as I tucked her into my bed tonight as a special treat) that she is so, so, so, so glad that I am her mummy.

I might not have spent my 14th wedding anniversary with my man, but I spent it full of the love that our lives together have created. And that made it a very special day.

oh april

You are predictable.

You are a month of transition and changing gears. A shape-shifter morphing from hot, still perfect summer days to gold-tinged awetumn, stabbing us in the ribs with some fierce winter storms, chilling us through with your sudden icy evenings.
You are a month of sunsets and rainbows.

You bring otters and owls and flamingos. You bring the stillest, stillest nights for us to hear when they're about.

You, recently, have brought my return to work after a month of rest/illess/disability.

You also bring plague.

Frieda's had her third lurgy in almost as many weeks. This one a radical 'flu thing - high fevers, night sweats. THANK GOD the child can read. The Prisoner of Azkhaban, Little House on the Prairie and Ramona Beezy have all been consumed in a feverish frenzy on the couch.
I can't imagine her dreams.
She's been floppy and docile and ever so sweet. I had to confess to a friend that it has been lovely to get a chance to baby my big girl a bit. There was some back chat this morning though so she's on the mend.

You are the start of waking in the dark, cardigans at 4 and slippers by 5 all day. I came downstairs in proper shoes yesterday and Frieda immediately asked if I was going to a meeting. Working from home is so louche.

The door to the stoep stays closed more and more. Letting pets in and out consumes vast quantities of time and bargaining chips.
I start longing for winter curtains, for 'drawing in' and all those fun-sounding Northern Hemisphere autumnal things.
I might make an apple crumble after I post this.

April does like to bake.

You are also the month which houses our greatest day. Our shining hour. Today, Freedom Day.
But this year I'm not really feeling it. This year Freedom Day feels a little tarnished, our country feels tired and sad.

Quick: puppy!

April has brought us one of our favourite things.

You're an interesting month, April. I'm ready for my birthday month now though!

25 things about right now.

1. These 25 things lists are really the best way to clear the blogging log-jam. Sometimes weeks of half completed drafts clog the system, becoming irrelevant or stale, causing a blog doldrum. A nice fat post of bits 'n piece is the way to get it all flowing again.

2. This analogy suddenly strikes me as rather gross.

3. Moving swiftly along ... we've been sick. Again. Still. I can't even keep track.

4. But I think we're finally all better and for the second day running everyone is at school or work! It's a miracle!

5. In between all that somewhere we went camping!

And found a little bit of summer. 

6 - 11. About camping:

• Some members of our party left town at 07:20 in order to maximise their weekend away.
• Their departure group text woke us up. We are not those people.
• We're more about the journey you know? So had a lovely slow drive up there, stopping for lunch and sight-seeing ...
• ... and arriving just in time to have our children whipped away for a walk down to the river, giving us an hour of quiet bliss to pitch camp and drink wine. Win.
• The highlights package: Frieda - paddling up river and building a fort on a deserted beach with a bunch of kids she'd never met before. Stella - doing an epic mountain walk with her Dad involving rope climbs and lost waterfalls. Me - tubing down rapids! Through some thorn bushes! Husband - wowing fellow campers by producing kerrie vetkoek (from scratch!) round the campfire.
• We laughed a lot.

12. And then we came back and were sick some more.

13. While we're on Stella, can we talk about 5? I've just remembered that 5 is the most magical age. And with this little star who gave me so much hell for a couple of years, it is proving to be particularly delicious. I find myself panicking a bit at the thought that I've only got 10 months left of having a 5 year old. Ever!

Stop! In the name of Schnauzer-Panda-Hoodie-HandmadeBow-Pink-Sneaker-Love!

14. I suspect however that any emotional hysteria of late must be blamed entirely on the fact that I TURN 40 IN 7 DAYS TIME!

15. Seriously, I knew I should have done this last year.

16. Should I also chalk it up to a mid-life crisis that I think this outfit is really cool, and kinda want to wear it every day?

17. Okay, not so much the shorts over leggings thing, and I can't wear recreational camo anymore (because war [see? 40. emotional]), but I really love those boots and I've already bought the sweater!

18. If channeling a stylish 20 yr old black guy isn't some form of weird turning-40-white-lady-shizz then I don't know what is really ...

19. On the subject of living vicariously ... have I mentioned my Instagram habit? Yeah, I'm a late adopter (because old), but I'm rapidly making up for lost time.

20 & 21. Two things I love about Instagram: pictures + words are so much more interesting than just words (are you reading this Twitter?) and, I like the boys. There are really cool, interesting men on IG expressing themselves visually and like, sharing man. It's a beautiful thing.

22. The hardest part about Insta is not just posting pics of my dogs all the time. Because dammit my dogs are cute.

#bullterriers

#lovedogs

#omfgthecutest

23. Here's something I did post on Instagram recently, a perfectly wrapped gift for a friend. I do love me some good gift-wrapping. And it seems I've shared the gene.

On the right: my gift to a friend. On the left: Frieda's Mother's Day gift to me.

My legacy is complete.

24. And finally, AWEtumn has not disappointed.

25. Every year I seem to forget, and every year it is the most wonderful surprise to remember, that this is in fact my favourite season.

There. That feels better.

easter past and present

I quite like Easter.

It's not as frantic as Christmas, but there's still a big focus on family, food and indulgence. What's not to love right?
You can't really go wrong with a 4 day weekend and a free pass to eat as much chocolate as you like.

I have very fond childhood memories of Easter. We didn't get a lot of sweet treats so a pile of chocolate was a big deal, and hunting for eggs in our big fynbos garden with lots of nooks and crannies was an adventure.
We often went away over Easter, or had friends from the city come to us, and I remember dying eggs with tea and drinking hot chocolate in rainy cabins in the woods.
One year we had pink and white cut-out cardboard bunny ears and paws from some far off exotic place (like London!) - in ye olde early 80's this kind of thing was not as commonly available as it is now.
I cringe to recall an Easter morning as I entered adolescence when, thinking I was being droll, I asked if 'anything exciting was going to happen or can I go and shave my legs?'. My mothers face was hurt and her voice sharp when she retorted that my (younger) brothers were going to hunt for Easter eggs but if I thought I was too old for such things I was free to do something else.
I felt awful, and obviously I was not too old for such things. I felt like an Easter ass.

It's also such a good break, after the madness of the first quarter, we're all in need of lazy days come April. And it's traditionally the weekend we get the first real winter rain. This year did not disappoint and Saturday dawned grey and chill.
There is still novelty in that.
Especially when it clears right up again and the weather returned with a beauty unsurpassed by any other time of year.

In April 2011 I wrote:

This time of year, my god it is sublime. It's ... subtle. Subtle in a way that February in Cape Town is utterly not. Clarity, cut, colour - it's like the seemingly endless days of late summer/autumn are each perfect diamonds, most definitely gems, each one handcrafted for perfection.

The temperature is perfect, subtle. The breezes are soothing, subtle. The light is clear and gentle, subtle.

It's marvelous.

 I could've written that about today.

Easter has not always been so idyllic. Most notably Easter 2010.

And I had fun recalling some failed Easter crafts from 2011, and the time Frieda made my heart explode with love, also 2011.

And of course how could we ever top the excitement last Easter brought?

That teeny-weeny little guy is now double the size of his older sister and a great big lovable stinky brute of a thing, adored by all.

This Easter weekend was low-key and lovely. Friday afternoon with friends, Saturday walks and movies and cuddles ...

Sunday chocolate and colouring and Peter and the Wolf on audio ...

... rounded off with a massively indulgent evening meal - roast lamb etc and a pudding so good (and so not present on the internet I discover while trying to find a link) that I'm going to have to make it again just to blog and photograph. As an act of public service you understand.
All four of us rolled away from the table and out the door, for a necessary wild and windy night walk, laughing together in the moonlight as we walked off our food babies and tumbled home to bed.

This morning we could barely contemplate anymore sweetness but we had a family get-together planned, and we'd promised to bring the cake, so we pulled ourselves together and just managed to produce one.

It was a happy weekend. Here's to Easter!

50 things about right now

1. It's the winter school holidays.
2. 3 weeks with my babies, my home, my pets, my life. Delicious.

3. Little bits of work in the mornings, then kids, plans, outdoors, friends, food. Slow time.
4. We're reading The BFG.
5. I'm reading Jane Austen.
6. After too many Netflix cartoons I declared a week of pure David Attenborough. They're loving it.
7. I'm watching House of Cards in front of the heater every evening.
8. It's fucking cold.
9. Those microwaveable beanbag goodies are our life-savers.
10. The girls take them to bed, and I reheat them much later when I go to bed.
11. Moments like that I really win at parenting.
12. I wish I was collaging but it's too damn cold in my studio in the evenings.
13. North-facing. It's the only way to build a home.

no filter, no tidying - and no indication at all from this pic how cold it is outside

14. There's a mid-morning sunbeam on my bed that is the most enticing thing I've discovered of late.
15. However, awesome jeans are pretty enticing too ... I've recently discovered some.
16. I may need another pair.
17. I've done one small home improvement every day this holiday.

the girls room - spruced, sorted out and spotless. for now.

18. I'm exceedingly proud of this.

19. Things had really been allowed to slide around here ... 

20. One evening recently husband and I did seven small DIY jobs. Seven.

21. I'd post a pic of my linen cupboard but really, there are limits - even to arbness.

22. As much as I moan about winter, it is a wonderfully subtle season.

23. We really live in a most beautiful place.
24. An old friend, with whom I still connect on Facebook, is totally pro-Israel, posting nasty anti-Palestine stuff.
25. A rare moment when Facebook becomes regrettable, I'd rather not know that about him.
26. As I get older I respect death more. And feel the loss of life more keenly.
27. Being a parent contributes to that, but I think it's a more universal lesson for (just about) 40.
28. Our pup's getting older too.

29. And they're becoming better friends. Lego is still the chew-toy, but she hands him his ass on the lawn every afternoon, running him down 'til he knows who's boss.

30. We're enjoying watching their relationship develop, and his with each of us - there is an uncanny 'little brother' presence he's brought to our house. The errant youngest son we're all raising together.

31. Have I mentioned we're having a wonderful holiday?

32. We planned to try and see lots of friends we struggle to find time for during the crazy school weeks, and we have.

33. Lots of lovely mums and kids time: affirming, warm, supportive, fond afternoons with dear friends.

34. We've got this track on repeat. I think it's our holiday anthem!

35. A 10 foot trampoline has possibly become my best parenting buy EVER. They're on it for hours, and have learnt many lessons about sharing, negotiation, aerodynamics and acrobatics.

36. We're on the hunt for a new mattress. Most Boring Purchase Ever. But long overdue.

37. Apparently futon's went out in the '90's.

38. Hard-as-a-plank futon and all, we've been spending a lot of time in bed lately. Cats, books, bean bags, laptop, tea, bed. Winter has its perks.

39. Coca Cola Double Fudge Cake. Diabolical.

40. I'm working on my next collage pieces and thrumming with inspiration. Now to actually STICK SOMETHING.

41. I've found a Cape Town supplier for Mod Podge. No one but deprived locals will understand the significance of this.

42. Husband and I have discovered our musical tastes are growing apart. I'm okay with this. As long as I don't have to listen to any more Gogol Bordello.

43. Bleeding eardrums.

44. Have I mentioned it's beautiful here?

45.On Saturday I'm attending an all day Learn to Ride motorbiking course.

46. I have 6 months to get my licence before my Learner's expires and I'm determined to do it.

47. On Saturday night we've a raucous party planned.

48. It's very convenient when good friends with more energy for these things have birthdays in the same week as ones husband - we're getting good at piggy-back partying.

49. There's that cake. And the last immediate family birthday for the year. They do come thick and fast round here.

50. Life is good.

this may

Last May was quite monumental.

I kept meaning to write about it, but it sped by in such a full flash that I didn't get there and then June zoomed through and then July and then ... you know.

Last May Stella started pre-school, her first since the school year had ended the December before. I was so emotionally depleted from dealing with her full-on, full-time crazy 3 yr old madness, utterly depleted in spirit and body.
May here starts with a public holiday, Worker's Day, so she started school on the 2nd and coincidentally and miraculously a friend had invited me to a spa morning that same day - there couldn't have been a more apt way to mark a turnaround I only really had an inkling of then.

I can so vividly recall that massage, the heat and the smells and the feeling of elevation as my body was manipulated and my spirit released. I would've cried but I was too far gone. I remember the masseuse talking to me and sounding as if she was far, far away, her voice bringing me slowly back into the room.

Afterwards, wrapped in an immense robe, I wandered into a warm room lined with air beds, suspended 25+ floors above the city, facing a bank of windows, watching the rain fall on the mountains and lay there smiling, probably somewhat ridiculously. I felt free.

It's a year on, and the turnaround that started that morning is immense.

The girls are really happy and settled in school. Stella is a a far more balanced little person, only occasionally prone to acts of heinous revoltingness. I am a far more balanced person, and probably quite a lot less revolting myself.
We're having adventures. I'm having a social life.
I'm working more and more (and at the moment quite a lot!).
I've found a new creative outlet, and have some exciting news about that soon.

Can you tell I've had rather a lot of gin this afternoon? Life is good.

Happy Mother's Day!

PUPPY!!

Look what the Easter Bunny brought us ...

Orca. 5 weeks old.

'Cos every little girl deserves a puppy right?

With sharp, sharp little puppy teef.

And if you're going to get another one they may as well match!