cupcake consternation

Basically it's my parent's fault.

I was all geared up for another epic 'upagar' (translate: helicopter) cake for a certain 2nd birthday we'll be celebrating next weekend. Maybe with less military realism and more colourful kindergarten icing this time.

But no, while Husband and I were away on our dirty weekend romantic mini-break, my parents introduced Frieda to the Simonstown Penguins. And 'upagars', once a most beloved obsession, were relagated to that dusty corner of her psyche where I like to imagine she stores Former Beloved Things. Along with my boobs, and pureed butternut.

Anyhoo, so now, having thought the birthday cake was in the bag, I'm finding myself googling 'Penguin Cupcakes' and oh lordy, you won't believe the ridiculousness I've found ...

Let's kick off with this a commendable and gorgeous effort but I just can't spend the next week making fondant penguins. I'm just not that kind of Mum. And dudes, check the icing on those things - real snowflake print. Yowzer.

(photo from here) 

Then there's these And I know I should probably refrain from being too snobby until I've tried this shit
fun family project myself, but I'm afraid I think these are amateur. (God how I'll be eating these words in a few days time - and probably a lot of half-iced cupcakes!).

But my absolute dripping-with-sarcasm-favourite has to be this: Ladies Home Journal's 'simple steps to make a kid-friendly dessert that's cute and delicious at the same time'. Please note the use of the word 'simple'.
Don't follow the link if you don't want to be inundated with a trillion annoying pop-ups, but here's just one photo. Just to show how 'simple' they really are.

 (photo from LHJ yada yada yada)

Ja. Riiiiiight.

  

Nope, I guess I'll have to forge my own path in penguin cupcake decor. Boldly go where no other mother of a penguin-obsessed 2 yr old has gone before and all that. I'm still in the conceptualisation phase, I've a couple of theories, a few drafts, some sneaky plans and clever tricks, but I'm also pretty sure that just when I latch on to the perfect method, my Sweet Little Angel will find a new object of passionate desire. And I, like a parenting fool, will forego sleep and sanity to bring that passion to life.

On a cupcake.

Really?