smallmagazine.net

[Deep and delicious sigh of blissful satisfaction] 

Guys, check this out. Truly is this not the most beautiful childrens media you've ever seen? Children, and their products, toys etc, beautifully and intelligently created, styled and designed to entice the real spenders, us. The beautiful and intelligent parents with an eye for design.

I am so sick of being sold children's stuff in a cutesy way, everything with twee names and ads full of tweelittleshitlooking kids. Cute kittens on tins may sell cat food; if you like your own cat you're probably a cat person, but having your own child in no way automatically endears you to other children, or indeed the whole concept of 'childhood' as advertisers often try to sell it. Primary colours, shit-eating grins, mindless slogans.

Hellllooooo, I'm still the consumer I've always been. Different products maybe but I'm as intolerant of bullshit as ever.

Once again, altogether now: "Just could we had children doesn't mean we became one." God.

So ja, www.smallmagazine.net - wow wow wow!

 

  

bumper cars. I mean chairs. Er....

So I've got this little thing about chairs right? You know how some people have a thing about shoes? Well I got that too, but also chairs.

People warned me that once I had a kiddie I'd want to buy cute shoes for her too. Turns out its the same with chairs. And the cool part - kiddie's shoes, and chairs, are much cheaper than adult ones.

Sooo, cutting to the chase.... Imagine my delight when I recently spot some really cute kiddie's chairs in an interiors mag, then discover they're stocked by Mr Price Kids, then read on to find they're really affordable and then, and this never happens, I phone my closest branch and they have them in store! They're called Bumper Chairs, come in fab colours and MrPK is running a special - 4 chairs plus table cheap cheap!

Off we dash to purchase chairs and everything's going swimmingly until, on the way home, I rear-end someone.

Luckily it wasn't too serious, luckily the nice old guy I drove into had a big fat bumper with tow-bar which luckily connected with my number plate leaving his car unscathed, and mine ok but for this:

The funny part? Getting home to tell Husband the story, he looks up from his computer and says; "Bumper chairs huh?".

Yup, seems so.

But how cute are they?

the onion incident

I feel I need to explain this one briefly;

I don't make it a rule to throw hard cylindrical vegetables at my domestic animals. However; I have a little ginger cat who I absolutely adore, but my oft-times threat of committing ginger felinicide have not always been in vain.

Especially when, like earlier this week (did I mention I was ragingly pre-menstrual?), she ONCE AGAIN chose to sharpen her claws on my red velvet rocking chair, when her perfectly good and custom-built scratching post was placed right next to said chair.

Alas for her, she did this right in front of me, as I was chopping onions in a dark and ominous pre-menstrual fug (oh, I mentioned that hey....). So ja, I lobbed it, she tried to duck and, completely unplanned by me, she took an onion square on the jaw.

Obviously she's fine so everyone relax, but the funny thing is - no scratching since then.....

These from back when the scratching post was new and exciting - the pre-onion hurling days...

 

 

aren't you always majorly relieved when...

You've spent the day in fits of irritability, spasms of self-loathing, waves of tearfulness, you've snapped at your loved ones, shouted at strangers (granted it was a taxi-driver rat-running down my road and having the gall to toot at me), decided that your life is dismal, your outlook bleak (btw, is that how one spells 'outlook' or am I completely brain washed by Bill Gates?) oh and (is that how one spells 'brain washed'? No hyphen? Really?)... where was I....?

Oh yes, you've almost cursed the day you were born, let alone the day your child was born, you've thrown something hard and cylindrical at your cat (oh god that was yesterday, yes it was an onion if you must know, and I'm going to bring it all together under the same blanket excuse in a minute), and you very nearly phoned the mechanic who you thought was ineffectual and just plain stooopid on the phone this morning back to actually tell him that, and just when you've started thinking that you're a mean and bitter and twisted pathetic excuse for a human being..... you get your period.

Isn't that a relief? 

Followed swiftly by the thought that god chicks are full of shit. Seriously. How do we go through this every 28 days or so? 

(Is my punctuation totally off in this post? Is that how one spells 'punctuation'?)

God I need chocolate.

yoga with cats

blasphemy

Ok so anyone with religious sensitivities should probably skip this post. I, however, am laughing long and loud over the following....

First is pic sent to me by my equally wicked husband - 

(not sure how / where to credit this one)

Which made me think of the second, a piece of stencil art which went up in Obs some time ago and never fails to make me laugh out loud every time I drive past it. Love this!

If anyone asked me which sense I couldn't live without, it's definitely a sense of humour - no matter how sick and twisted!

Wow, 3 days after I photographed this the piece was painted out - after being there for at least 3 months. So glad I snapped it when I did!

scrapbooking for men

My hubby found this site and fell in love. Now he wishes he was retired or needed to have another ear op (don't get me started on the last one, our marriage is only now recovering....) so he can play.

He's especially taken by the Giant Panda. Naturally.

lists of 5: 5 wonderful things friends have done for me

(amongst many others, and in no particular order....)

1. arranged a suprise 30th birthday party for my husband when I was too strung out on a major project to do it myself

2. suprised me, from the other side of the world, with GOLDEN CIRCLE tickets to U2 in Cape Town when I'd resigned myself to not being able to afford to go

3. employed me as their assi when I left my permanent job with no future prospects

4. given me some of the most beautiful things I own, often crafted by their own dear hands

5. continually uplifted, entertained and inspired me. And did I mention entertained?!!

love you guys

not that it's a fixation or anything...

I had about a zillion other things I was going to blog about, but then this came up.

And it's not like I have any kind of weird scatalogical obsession or anything, but this I couldn't resist...

I've always been one of those people who judge other people who have too strong thoughts about too arb things. For example; who cares whether the tomato's between the cheese and the lettuce? Will the world really come to standstill if you don't use sequential slices of bread for your toasties so the crusts line up exactly? Does your dishwasher really have to be packed exactly the same way every time? (p.s. use of whiny italics 100% intentional).

And I felt the same way about people who insisted that there was a right and a wrong way of dispensing toilet paper - is your world really so small that this registers as an important issue?

But then.... I had a baby. And somehow with the lack of sleep and the lack of free time and the paring down of my long leisurely existence (what did I do with all my time before...?), I found that I was getting completely &%%*^!! annoyed with toilet paper that wouldn't roll freely at 3amwhenyou'vejustgotthebabybacktosleepandcan finallypeebeforefallingbackintobedyourself or 4amwhenthebaby'sscreamingforafeedbutifyoudon'tpee firstyou'llpeeonherwhichwouldinallfairnessbetitfortatbut maybenotcompletelyappropriate and so, for the first time, I started noticing, and caring, which way the toilet paper was 'loaded' on the roll and discovered, to my amazement, that there really is a right and a wrong way.

I couldn't however have told you why until I found this, which explains it all far more concisely and logically than I ever could.

Check out the diagrams here, and then follow the link to read on:

With sincere gratitude to www.currentconfig.com!

the poop chronicles: chapter 2

So, what, 6 months later or something, I'm back with a quick update and then to permanently, for now, change the tone of this blog.

The Husband, in an attempt to keep the neighbourhood rogue tom-cat from pissing on his bike cover, purchased Get Off, one of those sprays which claim to keep cats & dogs away from the treated area.
This seemed to work so well on his cover that he started spraying our drive-way gate, to deter dogs with lazy%&*!!owners from pooping there.

Imagine my amusement a few weeks later when I noticed that our drive-way had been remarkably clear for some time? Then a short glance up the pavement revealed that a scant few metres away, our neighbour's drive-way was totally besmirched, covered in poop!
Proof that this product not only prevents dogs from pooping where it's sprayed, but also causes a spontaneous bowel release just a bit further down the drag?

Wha ha ha ha ha.

However, I should really start spraying the neighbour's gates too... 
Posted by Molly at 10:16 PM Sunday, August 17, 2008

the poop chronicles: chapter 1

You know that dog poo is a problem when you find walking in the road safer than walking on the pavements. 
What I especially love is driving through dog poo when pulling into my gate, and then spreading it all the way up the car port and having to hose it down while simultaneously having to keep it off your shoes and try not to retch from the stench....
That occasion led me to pen the following:

 

I soooo badly wanted to stick it up outside our gate!

You can understand therefore why I had a giggle when I found these:


Love the creative use of inverted commas, or inverted 'comments' as I once appropriately heard them called.

And my personal favourite...

courtesy of www.curbed.com 

Posted by Molly at 10:30 PM Sunday, January 27, 2008

displacement activities

Gotta love 'em!

And there's nothing quite like getting some real work to make 'em even more attractive.

Yes, I have some real work, and yes, I'm celebrating by finally updating / revamping this blog.

I've ditched the old one for being too rambly - and frankly boring - but am going to spend some happy times re-posting some of my fav's here.

But first; some lunch!