Saturday, November 08, 2008

karma, baby

Just to kick off: I'm a little annoyed that I seem to have to log on to blogger through boring old Internet Explorer if I want to have the full bag of composing tricks at my disposal. I think my spacing problem of late was related to my preferred browser being Opera, and then, as of last night, I could only compose in HTML with no linkies or italics (and I love italics see), and that just sucked.

So now I've moved Her Blogship to Her own browser all by Herself. She's taking over me I tell you, and I have to wonder, is this how Bill Gates is going to become god in the end?

But I digress, there's loooooads more bullsh*t to come in this one...

Next: a Confession.
(And yes, this is a serious moment)

Deep breath.

I'm not really sure on where my karma sits on the next incident. And can I just say I'm kinda more and more conscious of karma, the very basic concept of it, in my life these days. I sometimes wonder if this is how one attains a spirituality of sorts, although my current gut instinct about karma is that it's much more related to how we interact with each other here, now, tomorrow, than in anything that may or may not happen in the big afterness.

Do unto others, what comes around goes around, ubuntu etc etc, it all boils down to a very simple message, and one which I think plays out on earth.

And ja, I don't really know how I rate karmically on this one...

The Skinny:
Some months ago Frieda and I were in one of our favourite places when we strolled past another mum, with a younger baby baby, and she immediately invited us to sit down on her blanket for a chat. We did, for a little while, and it boiled down to this.

  • She was in that space I remember so well; she's still very much home, nursing the baby, and everyone else has kind of moved on with their lives.
  • Her friends are busy with other things and she needs a baby-buddy.
  • She's chosen a pretty good place to look for one but,
  • it's not going to be me.
  • I'm just not in that space anymore, I've a toddler - it's a whole different thang.
  • I'm not in the market for new friends, I've lots whom I value deeply.
  • I'm just not that in to her.

So to cut to the chase, she asked for my number so we could hang out again, I panicked and didn't know how to reject her, and I'm not proud about it, but I wrong-numbered her.

Just one digit out, just enough to look like human error. I'm shocked at my own deviousness. And I now totally understand why men do this in bars. It's hard to look someone in the eye and reject them outright, even more so when you detect a hint of desperation there. It's easier to just do the ole '1 digit wrong' manouvere.

But if it's any consolation to anyone who's been on the receiving end of this treatment, it really doesn't feel nice to do it at all. I've felt a twinge of regret about it ever since, and never more so than when she walked right past me at the Baby Expo yesterday. Gulp.

I froze, my animal spirit guide (which, by the way is a basset hound, but that's for another post), telling me that if I stood very, very still, she wouldn't see me. And it seemed to work, although it might have been this which disguised me....

You know how I complain about not having lost my baby weight? You thought I was joking huh?

No ha ha ha, this was a fake. An ingeniously designed cami-with-fake-preggie-belly which I was wearing for said Baby Expo while helping a friend of mine promote her ingeniously designed maternity product, visit her site - the wonderful Heather Moore did all the graphics, and My Friend (proud caps) is totally rocking being an important business lady - the product is a hit, and so were we in our cute little belly-suits. It quite made me nostalgic, to be 'pregnant' again for two days.

And made me feel a little broody. And made me remember how those crazy, mad days of early motherhood. And made me feel bad all over again for deceiving that poor fellow mother. And then she walked past me and I remembered that Cape Town could be too small to pull pranks like that.

It's probably too small to blog about it too! Let's see if this one ever comes back to bite me in the ass... eish, karma baby.

1 comment:

julochka said...

i think your karma will be can always plead child distraction if in, the child was distracting you while you wrote down the number...that'll work, right?

p.s. have you tried firefox? :-)